**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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