he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
