Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize