i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
