I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Also, beer. Big fan.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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