I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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