Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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