Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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