we have pet lesbian snakes
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
