I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
