She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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