hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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