So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
