I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
