The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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