i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
