I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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