i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
