Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize