I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
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