OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
