My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
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