Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
