i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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