flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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