I'm going to jail i love you
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
