I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
