I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
