Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
