Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
She's the barista slut.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
