I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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