Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Drake has all the answers
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
