if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
