i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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