This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
