she takes plan B like it's going out of style
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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