i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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