Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
