you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
