I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
