would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
