so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
