honey bunches of taint.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
