does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
