she was so not down for the gang bang
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize