Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm experimenting with sincerity
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
