Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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