She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
