Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize