I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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