we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
