i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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