the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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