Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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