btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
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