There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
