Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize