she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
