pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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