she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
