Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
