So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
