It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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