even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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