there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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