Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
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