dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
