her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
how does that bad decision feel?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
