I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I have grass duct taped all over my body
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
