Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
